Monday, 14 May 2012


I am actually a very optimistic person, although my recent posts might indicate the contrary. I learned to be happy; it did not come naturally. I would like to encourage you to become a more content, satisfied and happier person.

The first step is to realise that Life is not fair and you cannot make it so. Bad things do happen to good people. You do not always get what you deserve. Only you will ever know that you deserve much better. Only you will ever know how much more you need. You are the one who is going to make your life better. You need to change your thinking to take advantage of all the good parts of your personality and your circumstances. Concentrate on the good things. You do not have to totally disregard the other parts, but you do need to emphasise the favourable aspects.

Did someone treat you badly? You must have demonstrated resilience, solid character, and personal strength to endure that. You have survived this long and you can survive a bit longer. Your strength of character will not fail you, but will improve the rest of your life. You are the good guy in this.

Did you whinge and whine about something? No, you demonstrated your strong belief in social justice. You made efforts to redress a fault. You stood up for your beliefs. You were a person of action. Someone else was at fault not you. You tried to be the action hero. You may have influenced more than you know just now. I did, but did not find out for a long time.

Did you forget to do something important? So, other people never make mistakes? Of course they do and it was just one mistake. Learn to write lists to avoid this too many times. Everyone makes mistakes. Errors are part of life. You are not the only person in the universe and someone could have helped or reminded you. They didn't, so can share the blame.

Did you take a life? From a person? A pet? An animal that relied on you? Worse? Soldiers have lived with this grief for thousands of years. The pain will never go away entirely, but you can survive it. You must do this. You can and you will. Be strong. Be resilient. Courage. Bravery. Strength. Stoic.

Are you a victim of bullying, torture, depravity, violence, crime? Guantanamo Bay? You are not alone. These things happen to thousands of people and they have happened for thousands of years with variations. Life is not over. If you kill yourself, they will have been victorious. Do not die. Do not give them the satisfaction. Dig deeper into your soul and find just a scrap more strength. If I can do this, then so can you. Life will get better if you survive.

Make a list of three good things in your life today. Not sappy stuff like your children love you when you know they treat your instructions with contempt. I mean the really good things like: The air is clean and fresh; I am free from cancer; I can see; I remember singing a song when I was a child; Leprosy has a new and better name and can be cured; Think about soft little feathers; If I sit here it is quite comfortable; Those bombs are far away. Find lots of good things even if they are very small. Remember. Think about your strengths. Good is still good.

You do not have to forgive people who hurt you. You are allowed to remember those times. They were horrible. You did not deserve to be treated that way. Even if you did something wrong, there were other ways of dealing with it. Your manners are better than theirs. Your values are better than theirs. You can take pride in that. You can be proud of your resiliency and courage.

If you truly want to, then volunteer somewhere. Or visit someone. Or perform a few random acts of kindness. This is not an obligation but a sign of your inherent positive attitude.

Events occur. We feel something. We can respond then or we can change how we feel abut the event. It is true that we can change our feelings simply be looking at an event differently. It works. Peter Cundall, the famous gardener, was put in solitary confinement as a prisoner of war. His reaction? "For the first time in my life I have a room of my own." Positive reactions create a happier outlook. Then our whole life becomes happier.

Make a list of ten things that you can do when you feel really bad or desperate or dark. My list includes looking at pictures in books, sewing, stroking the cat, deep breaths, listening to music, wiping dust off shelves, and watching favourite films. Use this list as often as you need it. This is not failure it is success.

You can worry if it is necessary. There is nothing wrong with that. It shows you care.

Enjoy every day. Enjoy something every day. Enjoy parts of your life. Read jokes. Do things you are good at. Soon you will enjoy bigger and better and more arenas.

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