My Dad was away a lot due to the type of work he did. I have no brothers. So when I married living with a male held a few surprises. Then I had a son. More surprises.
Unfortunately I found out most of the following facts for myself, after acquiring the husband and the son. My best friend added her personal experiences to round it out.
What do boys and their families eventually know?
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
§ Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise while driving.
§ A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill an average carpeted house 2 centimetres deep.
§ Certain Lego will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
§ Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
§ Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
§ A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
§ If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
§ Brake fluid mixed with Clorox bleach makes smoke, and lots of it.
§ Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
§ The sound of the smoke alarm makes little boys cry but does not make them honest.
§ The fire department in
has a 15-minute response time. Darwin
§ A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 100 adults in a busy restaurant.
§ If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 20 kilo boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 5 metre square room containing a leather lounge.
§ You should not throw tennis balls up when the ceiling fan is on.
§ When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a tennis ball a long way.
§ The glass in windows doesn't stop a tennis ball hit by a ceiling fan.
§ If you throw oranges at the ceiling fan the Nanny will probably lose her job.
§ When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it is already too late.
§ No matter how much jelly crystals you put in a swimming pool you still cannot walk on water.
§ Pool filters do not like jelly crystals.
§ Pool filters do not like the crystals from disposable nappies.
§ The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
§ The spin cycle on the washing will, however, make cats dizzy.
§ Cats may vomit up nearly twice their body weight when dizzy.
§ 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends.
§ 80% of men who read this will try mixing Clorox bleach and brake fluid.
§ 80% of teachers know how to make a bomb using brake fluid.
I was telling my friend James about this list and he actually said, “I wonder if that bleach and brake fluid thing would work”. I guess men will always be boys!!