Friday, 19 August 2016

Do you use a sat nav in your car?

I was sent this poem.
Pam Ayres
It is supposed to be by Pam Ayres.
I say "supposed to be" because the previous time I had what I thought was one of her poems, it turned out to be by somebody else. If I am wrong again, please let me know. It is not my intention to steal the intellectual property of anyone and cause offence.

This is an older person's poem. (I have no idea why the line spacing is a bit wonky.)

My husband just might think of me sometimes in the same way that the person in this poem thinks of his wife. My Beloved has a real sat nav in his car, and the voice is quite helpful. Sometimes I augment the advice.

I still hope you like this as much as I do.


I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car.
A Satnav is a driver's friend; it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life.
It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty-five".
It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake,
And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear.
And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device.
For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught.
So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed.
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then,

                                                I could turn the bugger off!

It is more than 40 years since Pam Ayres first appeared on British television giving us the pleasure of her poetry.
Here is a link to her webpage.    Pam Ayres

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